This momma has a lot of baggage.
This added load I lug around all day pales in comparison to the monstrous weight of his body forcefully on my fifteen-year-old tiny frame. My virginity was stolen from me that horrific night in grade nine. I was raped.
I made the poor choice to go to this party, I chose to drink alcohol and I am sure I was wearing something there is no way I would allow my own daughter to wear.
I was ‘asking for it’… right?
Almost twenty-three years later, my body has still not forgotten. My self-worth and confidence were thrown out of the window along with my respect for men. These crippling feelings have woven themselves into every fibre of my being. Just ask Greg how awesome that is, poor guy. Sorry babe-love you.
I rage and I cry. I often get the sensation I am suffocating when I recollect that night, the pressure of my rib cage pressed into my lungs is too much to bear. I beg and plead for his intentional violation of my body and soul to be magically erased from my mind – most of the time.
Recently I have been called by God to not only use my story to communicate with girls how to protect themselves but bring to light how we can raise better boys. Boys that will respect women and that they will always stand up for others. Our attention needs to be focused on this very large social issue. Twenty percent of Canadian women suffer sexual abuse. This is ridiculous. This is devastating. What are parents teaching, well I suppose not teaching, their kids? We have the social responsibility to raise men who value human life more than their own sexual gratification. It is crucial to now, probably more than ever, teach our sons courtesy and equality – they are bombarded by stereotypical, sexist imagery and sickening smut on the internet and in social media. Check out these links for more information. I still don’t yet know how I will navigate through this ministry I hope to dive into but I do covet your prayers for vision and the strength to put all my trust in our Savior.
Will you pray for our children with me?
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the gift of our children.
May their ears hear your voice.
May their eyes see your presence in all things.
May their lips proclaim your word.
May their hearts be your dwelling place.
May their hands be gentle and do good works.
May their feet walk in the way of Jesus Christ, your Son and our Lord.
May your Holy Spirit help them to grow in faith, hope, and love, so they may know peace, truth and goodness. Guide and protect them in all that they do.