Liar Liar Pants on Fire

This Momma is about to get real!

A few years ago a very dear and inquisitive friend of mine called me a liar. At the time I was extremely upset about it. Today, I agree with her.

You see, I’ve been dishonest with myself and everyone around me for a very long time. Living with a mental illness, for those affected, is very different from person to person. But the biggest lie, any of us can tell ourselves is that you are alone in this. Do not keep silent. Please seek help.

There are a ridiculous amount of times I’ve lied about how I feel, how I cope and what I have thought. Despite all the joy and blessings in my life – I have bouts of withdrawal, where raw segregation feels better and my family and friends irritate me… alot. Depression oozes into the crevices of your mind and spirit and makes you question your worth, your faith, and your love.

During some of my “un-medicated” days, dark thoughts consumed me. Suicidal thoughts riddled my mind, death seemed a welcome relief. Carrying on a normal conversation, with anyone, seemed impossible. Menial tasks were not feasible. My depression reared its ugly head shortly after I gave birth to our third child. I tried to cope with these “baby-blues” on my own, speaking to very few about how I was feeling. After our fourth child I finally sought help for postpartum depression through our family doctor, my loving husband and our pastor.

“As for me, I shall call upon God, and the Lord will save me… He will redeem my soul in peace from the battle which is against me.” – Psalm 55:18

I have many many more good days than I have bad. I am on the road to healing my friends and I thank you in advance for your willingness to listen.  No more lying, you and I deserve the truth. Much love…

“Never give up on someone with a mental illness. When “I” is replaced by “WE”, illness becomes wellness.” – Shannon L. Alder

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